Return to Me Testimony

Unplugged and ‘Return to Me’ are both familiar phrases to us as members of sovereign grace church during this time. My first impression of the titles of these series was ‘great, here we go again. Haven’t we heard this enough already.” Well, obviously I hadn’t, which is why I’m up here today, to share with you about why I needed to hear about being Unplugged and returning to him. I want to share with you three things today: a seemingly harmless passion, the mass exodus, and the returning to him.
First, lets start on April 1st of last year. How fitting that my story starts on April Fools Day. This day is significant because it was the day that I purchased my first motorcycle, a 2002 Honda Shadow VT750 ACE. It was an immaculate bike, everything you could hope for for your first bike. The chrome was shiny, the pipes were loud and the ride was smooth. I received many compliments on my bike. 4,000 miles and 3 months later I sold that bike to a friend at work and upgraded to a 2000 Honda GL1500 Valkyrie Interstate. This bike was amazing! I soon spent a lot of my time riding, washing, and thinking about how I could make my bike look better. Then, 7,000 miles and 5 months later, I would purchase my 2005 Honda GL1800 Goldwing, my dream bike. This bike had everything you could imagine on it. I was quickly enthralled. This new passion would take center stage after the mass exodus would occur.
What is this mass exodus I’m speaking off? Webster would define exodus as a mass departure. During the Valkyrie time period, also known as July through December of last year, there was a mass exodus of friends in my life. The first week of August proved to be one of the toughest times in my life since my brother had died. First there was the beloved Dr. Kahlib Fisher. He had taken a position at liberty university to pursue the calling God had on his life. It had only been recently that Kahlib and I became close. We experienced great times of Biblical fellowship and worship. To be around Kahlib was to experience the Lord in a joyful way. Kahlib was always quick to encourage me and challenge me with the word. His move to Liberty wouldn’t have hurt so bad if my roommate and best friend Isaiah hadn’t left the same week. Many of you got to know Isaiah pretty well. He is a man committed to Jesus Christ. He’s compassionate, loving, and very insightful and challenging. He lived with me for nearly 8 months. I didn’t know him before he moved in, but God quickly brought us together and man did we experience some great fellowship in the Lord. There were the spontaneous worship nights, the confession of sin, the encouraging from the word, and of course the random wrestling matches. God had given me an amazing gift in Isaiah. Unfortunately he was part of the mass exodus. Then, to put the icing on the cake, my best friend John Napier moved to Malibu to pursue the Lord’s calling on his life at law school. I don’t know how to describe how much John has meant to me. To help, I turn to Proverbs 18:24 that says, “a man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” John was/is a gift from God in my life. He is partly responsible for me even being here at SGC. I came here for a couple of months, but was discouraged by some of the things I saw here. John graciously pursued me and challenged me to stay and see if the Lord might use me to help change things. What followed was years of late night theological talks, spurring one another on to love and good deeds. There wasn’t a day that went by without us talking about the things of God in some way. The fact that he was right around the corner heavily influenced my decision to buy my first house. He was truly a friend that stuck closer to the brother. So to lose Kahlib, Isaiah and John in the same week was absolutely devastating to me. I remember weeping at night because my brothers, with whom I’d gone to battle with day in and day out, had all left to pursue God’s calling on their lives.
Remember the afore mentioned Honda Goldwing? My motorcycle would soon become my safe haven, my source of joy, the place where I spent most of my time and money. This seemingly harmless passion was slowly turning into an idol. I had taken a huge hit on the friend front and instead of finding solace in new relationships, I turned to my bike. There it was all about me, because it had to be. If it wasn’t all about me on the bike, I would have been killed. I would soon find myself riding my motorcycle 7 days a week. I quit tithing because I was spending too much money my bike. I was teaching Childrens Ministry still, but after mulling over James 3:1 that warns us that not many of should become teachers for those who teach will be judged with greater strictness. My life certainly didn’t stand up to a higher judgment. So I informed Eric of my decision and on April 22nd, taught my last children’s ministry class. I wouldn’t return to church until sometime in July. During that time period my heart grew harder and harder towards God, even though I was trying to convince myself that I was pulling away to gain perspective on my life. The truth was, I felt alone and hated it. My bike distracted me from reality. It was natural for me to put 400 – 600 miles on my bike in one weekend. Before I knew it, I had racked up 20,000 miles in just 8 months of riding! That’s nearly 32,000 since last April!
I finally returned to church for the start of the “Return to me” series, not realizing that God was directly speaking to me. It wasn’t until a care group meeting where I shared a verse from Jonah 2:8, “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be there’s” that God began working on my heart. The funny thing was that I didn’t share that verse to describe my life, it was illustrating a point that Mr. Davis had made. On the drive home, my friend Wayne Crosby jokingly told me that my bike was an idol. I quickly refuted his statement and ignored the nagging at my heart. The next Sunday I skipped church to go ride my motorcycle. My good friend Dave rockey texted me, asking where I was at. Interestingly enough the book of Jonah was that Sundays book. Dave’s next text to me started to get my attention: “be careful, God got Jonah’s attention.” The unrest in my soul began. Jonah ended up in the belly of a whale. Here I was riding my motorcycle, running from God, who knows where I could have ended up.
The next care group meeting, I wrote down the question, “Why do I not want to sell my motorcycle?” My response: “Because my identity was wrapped up in it.” I went mentally silent; you could have heard a pin drop in my head. Identity is something I have been studying for years about who we are in Christ and now my first thought was my identity is my motorcycle! WOW! How gracious of God to reveal my sin in that moment. I knew what had to happen next. I confessed my sin to Wayne, Mr. Davis, and Eric Hughes and decided to sell my bike. Not that the bike was the problem, because it wasn’t. It was my heart. The idol wasn’t the bike, it was actually myself. I was doing what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. The bike just happened to be the object of my affections at that time.
“Why not keep the bike and stay accountable with someone?” Great question, I’m glad you asked. My whole family and all my ‘friends’ at work were completely against me selling my bike. I even had people that I thought were close friends turn on me after I sold my bike. But we all know that God often calls us to do things that don’t make sense to the world. You see, this past year was terrible for me. I had never felt so alone in a church in my life. Sure my motorcycle offered fleeting joy, but my soul longed for something more. To the world, my motorcycle offered me a source of joy, when in reality it was driving me further away from the people that love me the most. So when I decided to sell my bike, to the world, I was giving up something I loved for something less. Paul, in Philippians 3 addresses this very situation:
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ
This verse is what I cling to when my heart longs to be on two wheels again. Though I still struggle with the thought of owning a bike, I can honestly stand before you today and say that nothing compares to knowing Christ. This last year, my joy was dependent on how many miles I was able to ride, or how good the ride was. Now, my joy is rooted in God, which in Psalms 16:11 we are told that in the presence of God is the fullness of joy, at HIS right hand are pleasures for ever more.
Friends, I shared with you about a seemingly harmless passion turned idol, a mass exodus of friends, and my return to him. Please listen to what I’m about to say. We need each other. We are called to be contributing members of the body of Christ. I hope that my story that I just shared is the last of its kind for the singles here at this Church. When my closest friends left what left with it was the daily encouragement and spurring one another on to good deeds. Hebrews 3:13 commands us to “exhort one another every day, as long as its called today, that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” Friends, encouragement doesn’t come natural for most people, so we must determine that we will encourage one another daily. Did you hear the promise that came along with that command? That ‘none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin!!!!!’ My story may have been different if I would have had a faithful friend point out the blind spots in my own heart. I stand before you all today, and I plead with you to make this a practice in your life. Not out of duty, but out of love, and out of recognition that this isn’t our home, that we are sojourners, strangers in a strange land. We have been promised an inheritance that will be not destroyed. With our eyes fixed on Jesus Christ, let us run this race together, encouraging and uplifting each other along the way, that we may persevere to the end.